A Way Home...

I remember when I was learning to drive. It is one of those experiences that I always looked forward to in high school, but once I was in it, I dreaded it at times. I didn't mind so much when I practiced with my mom, but my dad was another story. I always wanted to do so well when I went out driving with dad, but I always felt those were the times I did the worst. I am sure the pressure I put on myself didn't help, but I usually came away from those times thinking public transportation might not be so bad afterall.

I remember one time in particular where my dad decided he would take me out to practice driving. He drove first and drove us to some point and then told me to drive home. I had not been paying attention and had no idea how to get back home. I remember he was angry and I got a lecture on paying attention and how important it was that I knew where I was and how to find my way home. I managed to drive back home with him giving me directions, but I remember feeling humiliated and once again, was wondering if we lived near a bus route.

It is interesting how situations in our lives can remain so vivid and make such an impact. The other thing that is interesting is how God can use those circumstances years later to show us something. At times I have felt as if God was so far away. I know in reality He has not moved, I have. The interesting thing is He has always given me a clear way back home. I don't have to wonder how to get there or how to find my way back. I only need to drop to my knees and open my heart to Him. I have to reach out and call to Him and I will find Him. I don't have to wait or wonder, I just have to pray.

I did manage to get my driver's license and I never had to get a bus schedule, but I did learn to pay attention, to know where I was going, and how to get back. Those lessons have been useful when I have moved or gone on trips. The funny thing about life is you don't always know where you are going, but God is always able to give directions, and always makes a way home for us.

In this time of year when we reflect on a baby born in a manger. It is incredible to believe that even before I was born, God had a plan to make a way home for me. A way for me to come home that broke down any barriers. A way home that comes through love and grace and because God was willing to sacrifice His son. It is awesome to comprehend that a baby born over two thousand years ago still provides a way home today!

Our way home doesn't start with a GPS, a map, a disgruntled father, or by putting the car in gear - our journey home begins when we realize He is standing at the door and knocking and we open the door and let Him come in. Our way Home begins at the manger and goes through the cross.

The Holiday Season

We have been trying to make this holiday season fun for the kids. Our family has been on a difficult journey for the last few months. Between illnesses and changes we could not have forseen we have all been walking on a winding and at times bumpy road. I know God is in control and that we will all come out on the other side stronger and wiser, but sometimes the going through isn't fun or easy. Many times when God wants us to grow and head in a new direction it isn't always comfortable, but it is doable with Him.

So, that being said, we have tried to get out and do some things with the kids to make our journey a little more pleasant.

Here are a few things we have done:

Light Show:





Matthew West Concert with Bob and Larry:









We have also gone through a Walk Through Bethlehem at our neighbor's church and have even done some fun things at home. Anna made a Happy Birthday Jesus cake this week.



We are trying to keep Christ as the focus in what we are doing as well as spending quality time as a family. I know in the years to come the kids may not remember what they got for Christmas this year, but I know they will have memories to look back on to take with them the rest of their life. They say the best gift we can often give is ourselves well I think that is especially true when it comes to our children. Spending time with them is something that never wears out or gets old.

If we only could remember that through the year. It isn't so much the things we buy, but the time we spend and how we spend it.

"An Explosion..."

We have a wonderful three year old who will turn four next month. She is definitely a terrific part of our family. Just like her brother and sisters she brings her own uniqueness to our family. She is very shy in public and around people she doesn't know very well, but once you get her in a comfortable environment with people she knows, she just doesn't know how to be quiet. She talks and talks and talks. This has only been a recent occurrence as she seemed to be a very quiet and shy child even around people she knew up until about September. Since then the flood gates have opened!

She has a wonderful way of looking at things and being the forth child is always attempting to keep up with her older siblings. She particularly loves doing school when they are doing school. One of the great things about homeschooling is having them learn together and along side of each other. She loves to be big and have school time as well. I generally take some time with her and work just with her on her letters, numbers, and other preschool types of things. Well this week she wanted to do an "spirment" (otherwise known as an experiment).

I got some great durable test tubes that I have and some dye tablets and decided we would work with colors and seeing what colors were formed when you mixed them. So we filled up 3 tubes with water and dropped a red tablet in one, a blue tablet in another and a yellow tablet in the last one. So now we had all the primary colors. We took 3 more test tubes and mixed a little of red and yellow and made orange and so forth. Emily was really enjoying this. We finally had six tubes with different colors in each. I thought this was going well.

Then Emily says, "Can we do another spirment"? I replied, "another one?" She then said, "yes, let's make an explosion - an explosion of an abomination!" I told her there would be no explosions in the house regular or the type involving an abomination. Funny how her favorite word right now happens to be "abomination". You can tell she enjoys spending time with her older siblings.

I just love the time I get to spend with my kids! I am so thankful for it!

Well I am trying to come up with another "spirment" for this week and think I have found it. NO, there are no explosions but I am thinking over the Christmas holidays we should build a volcano. I would love to see how she reacts to that. We could dye the "lava" red. Maybe we can have it run over some green trees. :)

The Tears of a Child

I think one of the most difficult things to deal with as a mother is the sadness and tears of a child. They can be tears over a scrape or an injury, or the emotional hurt of a friend moving or a change in their life they weren't expecting.

I can honestly say that since having children I have learned more about my Heavenly Father than I ever had before and ever could have on my own. My children have shown me a depth of love I had not known before them. It is that kind of love that wants to take the hurt away knowing that I can't and knowing that the best I can can do is just hug them and cry with them at times.

How do you get a child to understand that God understands what they are feeling? That there is a plan in what they are going through and that every tear that falls He is aware of. How do you explain, that it is ok to be upset but that you still have to be in control of your actions and how you express your frustration?

I think sometimes as adults we are often too afraid to hurt, to afraid to truly deal with our emotions. I think sometimes the reactions and feelings of a child are so much more real than ours. Some would say that as we get older that we learn to control our emotions and that emotions give way to reason and logic. I think that we have lost too much of our dealings with emotion in our attempt to reduce hurt and pain and seem more in control.

We shouldn't cry at the drop of hat or over spilled milk, but when we are hurting or feel a loss, or just plain disconnected from those in our life or with our life, I think it is okay to feel. It is just as okay to feel pain and loss as we are able to feel happy or excited about something. Why is it we are fine with happy, but steer clear of pain? Can we have one without the other? In order to understand happiness or joy, don't we have to know how we have to know what it is like to feel the opposite way?

As I learn to better help my children through the sometimes painful sides of life, I learn that it is emotion that makes us who we are. It is emotion that sent God to send His only son to die on the cross for mankind. It is the powerful emotion of love that makes a difference. If we are to love as God commanded us to love, how can we not feel emotion at the loss of a friendship, the death of a loved one, the separation from those we love, the injury of another, the difficulties of our neighbors, and all the other situations in life that should make us feel?

Sometimes we have to let go and actually accept that feeling love, feeling loss, feeling joy, and feeling pain, are actually gifts. Gifts that can help us relate, reach out, reach in, and reach toward heaven.

As I sit and hug a crying child, I am glad that they are able to feel. Glad that I am able to feel so many emotions as I attempt to console them. I am also glad that I have a Heavenly Father that understands my emotions, loves my child and me, and knows that even though we feel sad for this moment in time, that light will come after a night of darkness and there will be joy in the morning.

Let it Shine

Our family took a walk through one of the wonderful parks in our area this past weekend. As we were walking we came upon this beautiful little tree that was all decked out in yellow.



As I looked closer, I began to realize that it was the only thing around that was colorful. The rest of the landscape looked brown and gray and sort of lifeless. I was reminded of the verse in Matthew 5:16, "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." The other verse that came to mind was Luke 11:36, "Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the light of a lamp shines on you."

It struck me as here was a an actual vivid example of a "light" shining among the darkness. It is what we as Christians should be in a world of darkness.

I will have to admit I haven't felt like shining for the past couple of months. Our family has been through a challenging and soul searching time. It has been more like I have focused more on the circumstances of things and let them sort of block the light within me. I began to see this small tree as God's gentle reminder that though things can look dark and challenging around me that I was still required to reflect His light and His love.

I was reminded of Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers and going into Egypt, not by his own choice but by the choices of others and his circumstances. He didn't choose to go, but ended up there anyway. Even with the hardships he faced, he still trusted God and still reflected God's love and faithfulness in what he did from the prison to the palace. We all have Egypt experiences in our lives where we end up somewhere we hadn't planned on being or that we want to be, but we have to stay lit. We have to be faithful in our circumstances. We have to remember that what can be meant for harm can be worked for good through God.

I am often amazed at the small ways God reaches out to me and speaks to me. I have been trying to reboot my enthusiasm and spiritual mindset for several weeks and just couldn't seem to get back on track. It was like trying to get a wet wood back into a roaring flame. The flame never went out, just was having a hard time refueling. I think times like these are teachable times if we allow them to be.

A long time ago in a desert a shepherd's life was changed by a burning bush. This past weekend, my life was shaped and redirected by another well "lit" bush that seemed to refuse to know it was time to go dormant for winter.

In this week before Thanksgiving, I am thankful for a God who is always loving and faithful and never leaves me in the dark, without shining a light to show me the way forward.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD rises upon you." Isaiah 60:1

Monkey in the Middle

One of my least favorite games when I was growing up was Monkey in the Middle. I am sure many people have played it. It is a game where someone is in the middle of two people. The two people on the outside take toss something like a ball between them and try to keep the person in the middle from getting it. Usually the person in the middle is chosen to be in the middle because they are shorter, younger, or slower than the other two people. If by chance the person in the middle gets the item being tossed back in forth they become one of the people tossing the ball. Being the "Monkey" in the middle is usually not fun. I remember many times when I could end up in the middle for quite a while.

The weird thing is as an adult I often feel like I am in the "middle" again. I am between a rock and hard place, two decisions, friends that are not on the best of terms or stuck in the middle of a situation. It is as if life is a never ending series of Monkey in the Middle games where your truly has taken on the role of the monkey again.

I generally try to find out how to deal with my issues in life from a Biblical perspective but wasn't able find a reference to monkeys in the Bible. What I did find was example of others who had found themselves in the middle of conflict or in the middle of difficult relationships. The one that I can relate to right now is Jonathan. Jonathan was torn between a father who was king and his best friend David. He knew that his father was set on killing David, but he also knew that David was God's chosen to lead Israel. Jonathan was in the middle.

Sometimes even in the "middle" is a very lonely place. You wouldn't think it is since there are others around you, but it can be lonely. I think at times it is in the "middle" places of life that we especially need God to give us our bearing and focus. If we chase to one side or the other trying to grab hold of something or do it on our own we only get frustrated and tired. Focusing on God helps us see Him and not the game going on around us.

Between a rock and a hard spot is where the Israelites found themselves after leaving Egypt. Egyptians behind them and the Red Sea in front of them. The God of then is the God of today and He is still capable of guiding His children through these kinds of circumstances.

I think at this point in my life when I feel like I am about to go bananas, I know I just need to focus on Him and know that He will guide me through to the other side.

Finding Peace

"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength." Robert E. Lee

I found this quote this morning when I was reading through something. I think it is wonderful! I have also found that in times of "perplexities and distresses" that leaning on God is very comforting. God is not a God of confusion and if we are confused and frustrated we need to give it to God and seek guidance from Him.

I have been at peace at times in my life when it just didn't seem like it should be possible. I have found when I am not at peace it is becomes I am not handling things Biblically or I am relying on others or myself to figure it out.

We all have times in our life that are perplexing and distressing, but we have to make sure we keep focused on God and doing things according to His will. Not an easy task always, but very worthwhile and peace inducing.

When Silence Isn't Golden

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
— George Herbert

Have you ever experienced the kind of silence that truly screams at you when it is caused by a gap or break in a relationship? It is the kind of thing that seems to consume you and leave you asking what went wrong, what did I do, or why? When you are use to the rhythm of a relationship where you share your joys, sorrows, frustrations, ups, and downs, and then all the sudden nothingness, the silence it causes can be deafening.

It is as if the absence of a friend and their relationship leaves a large pothole in the road of life you can’t seem to get around it. Partially because you want the pothole fixed and partially because in life a really good friend is a hard to find. To go right over or around it and keep going without trying to fix it seems cold and immature. The problem is with these kind of potholes you have to have help from the other person to fix it and sometimes that is difficult.

I think that sometimes we allow the Gorilla that caused the pothole to become bigger than need be. Why is it as women we often are leery of letting a friend know they have hurt us or done something that has caused us to question our friendship? We generally are able to tell others about it, but not let the one person who could fix it know. I have found many times that the other person isn’t really aware of what it is and would fix it if they knew. Why do we let it fester instead of just being open about what is bugging us? Do we hope that with time it will all go away and we won’t have to deal with it?

I think that as mothers and women in our children’s lives we need to deal with issues a little more openly and honestly but lovingly as well. We all want to be dealt with fairly when we make mistakes and mess up so we should deal with others the same way. I would hope that we all give others the chance to make amends or find out what they did that was wrong. Sometimes it is just miscommunication and we all know what happens when we assume or are given incorrect information.

So today, I would challenge you if you have a Gorilla or his handiwork slowing your journey through life, stop and deal with it with love. The road of life is bumpy enough without having to deal with major potholes.

I wrote this a couple of years ago when I was going through some issues with a friend. The issues were resolved and I can gladly say we are still close friends! I think sometimes we need to reflect on this to keep it from being an issue. God Bless!

The Stones Fell at Their Feet

They stood in a circle, a group of men who knew the law and knew they had a case. This is what they had waited for. A chance to show their power, their knowledge of the law, and their "outrage". This was a chance to remedy a growing problem and carry out justice in their mind.

As they approached the "judge" with confidence in their stride and their faces registering a victory, they drug their victim along. They didn't seem phased by her tears and there was no sympathy in their harsh treatment. They hauled her up before the group and thrust her in front of the "judge".

"Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"

With that silence fell, the kind of silence that seems the loudest. The kind that waits for a response that will change the course of history. The "judge" addressed as "teacher" bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger as if the mob around him was not there. They pressed further as if the drums of victory were beating louder in their hearts. They had to have a response, they had to be justified in what they "knew" was right. They pressed again.

The "judge" addressed as teacher stood up and looked at them. Silence fell again. But this time it was totally silent. Nature even seemed to stand still to listen to His response. He looked at them and said with authority that was like no other, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Silence for a moment, and then there was the small sound of something falling to the ground and dust flying up in a small cloud. Another small thud and then the sounds of feet retreating from the scene - first a few and then others. The mob dispersed as if the first stone, that fell at their feet, had rippled across the crowd and sent them slowly and reflectively in another direction.

When the crowd had gone, the teacher looked up at the accused and said,"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."


There are enough issues attacking churches and Christians today that we don't need to implode from within by letting emotion crowd judgement, letting pride proceed penitence, and letting desire for control conquer compassion. We need to let the stones of discord fall at our feet and seek forgiveness for our issues before we let the stones in our hand become obstacles to our relationships with others and God.

Again, let us take in the words of Jesus:

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
...
"Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared.
"Go now and leave your life of sin."

These are the times...

I do not remember many of the quotes or passages I was required to memorize when I was in elementary or middle school. I do remember two probably because I can often apply them to my life. The two are the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling and an article by Thomas Paine written during America’s Revoutionary War period. The beginning of one of Paine’s articles is one many of you will remember once you have read it. The following is the beginning of an article:

“These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods;…”

I have often quoted the first sentence, “These are the times that try men’s souls.” on many occasions in my life, especially as a parent or as a wife. We all have those times that try our souls. I think that Paine is correct in giving credit to those who would give service to their country but I also think this passage could apply to our lives as Christians. There are so many times as a parent, a spouse, a friend we are tried and that we have to make decisions and do things that others are not necessarily thankful for at the time. Evil, like tyranny, is hell and is not easily conquered. In addition, like the tyranny Paine talks about, the battle with evil is not an easy one, but once we have conquered it the triumph is glorious.

We all face those less enchanting times in our lives that try us, and that the work we do is not appreciated. This is especially true for those that work to further God’s kingdom here on earth. Our pastors, Sunday school teachers, missionaries, prayer warriors, and all those who reach out to others in the name of Jesus are often tried. In 2 Timothy Paul writes about this.

2 Timothy 4
1In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
6For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Paul challenges us to keep going and know that though we often feel as if we aren’t making a difference or that our work here is not appreciated; God knows what we are facing and He will reward those who continue on despite the struggles.

I hope this weekend as you head off to church that you will let your pastors, teachers, choir directors, nursery workers, prayer warriors, etc. know that you appreciate the work they do. We are all called to be about our Father’s business, but those who have been called to lead us in our calling need to be encouraged as well.

And remember that even the times that try our souls are not forever, but for a season.

I wrote this a couple of years ago, but I felt as if God was calling me to post it again.

This and That

I haven't been updating my blog as much in the past few weeks. I was gearing up for the school year. I just love new school supplies! Pencils, pens, paper, oh my! In the process of starting school two weeks ago I ran into illness with three of my wonderful kids. The three girls all came down with something different. The youngest two have recovered but the oldest was just diagnosed with mono and walking pneumonia on this past Tuesday.

So, now we are trying to get her healed up. It isn't much fun being stuck in your room and in bed most of the day. She is an avid reader and it is almost impossible to keep her in books. I am heading off to the used bookstore later today to try to get her a few more books. Sadly, she will probably finish them off in a few days.

We have some awesome curriculum this year and I am excited to really get into it. We took a break for a few days to get the others all healed up and rested. I will have the oldest do school but at a pace that won't wear her out.

Well, I guess I had better get back to the daily chores and other things that make up what is my life.

The Harvest or the Barn?

I have always been amazed at the pretty and modern factor of so many of our churches today. Church buildings that are beautifully decorated, high glitz, super comfortable all under the guise of making people comfortable and welcome as well as giving to God our best. Then there is the muli-media capabilities that present the up to dateness of our congregation and the oohh and ahh factor. These allow us to spot light the talent of the people in the church and again we feel to give God our best.

What are we really saying though and what are we really doing? If we feel we need to do all this who are we trying to reach?

We often criticize people in our faith for being superficial and not being real. We claim people are unwilling so share the difficulties of their lives and that we try to pretend everything is just wonderful when we all face valleys in our lives. But aren't we do the same with pretty well furnished churches that keep most churches struggling financially and keep its members and leadership stressed as to how the bills are going to be paid?

Let's get real on all levels. God isn't going to look at how nice our church buildings are or how wonderfully decorated and welcoming they are. He is going to look at how many people we brought through the doors and brought into His kingdom. He is going to look at how we dealt with orphans and widows. He is going to look at how we treated our neighbor and how we reflected His son. His son that was a carpenter who taught generally outside as he walked along or sat in a group of people. The funny thing is that no matter the effort and money we put into an actual church building it is never going to look as good as what God can do, so who are we kidding?

As Christians we have confused needs and wants in our church experience as well. We need video screens, bright and cheery classrooms for kids, matching furniture and welcoming decor. Why? Did Christ have any of these things? Did the churches in Acts have any of these things? Do children starving without clean water in all parts of the world care about these things? Does our neighbor that doesn't know Christ really need these things? Do we as members in our churches need the time and financial distraction of these things when we have enough things in our lives distracting us from the Great Commission?

Now, before you start saying well we need churches. You are right to a point. Having a church building is wonderful to meet in, to fellowship in, to have a place to bring the searching and lost to, and to be a launching pad for evangelism. But ask those that are persecuted in other parts of the world if the "building" is necessary. Even with that example, I do think the physical building is a wonderful thing. It is our thought about what we have to have in it and around it that we have to really consider. We also have to consider the timing of bringing those kinds of things into a reality in our churches. If we have to borrow for them or the cost takes away from what we can really be doing for the Kingdom of God we need to think about whether they are needs or wants at the given time. Also if we need to fill a church with people then we need to realize as that is accomplished we will be able to accomplish more of our other goals and actually get others involved and have them feel a part of what we are trying to create.

I am sure others will say if we are going to do if for God, it should be done really well. No argument here, but what are we doing for God? Are we using the building to show off His glory or are we using our actions and lives to do that. Are we putting our time and efforts into things that moth and fire can corrupt or are we storing treasures in heaven? I think we should do things really well when it comes to doing them for God, but we need to consider that we shouldn't do them at the expense of what He commands us to do and what He expects of us. We shouldn't put the material objects before the mandates or the furnishings in front of the flock.

There are many churches struggling in these economic times and many churches that will not make it in these times. Many of these are due to heavy debt burdens the churches have accumulated to be all they could be in a material sense under the guise of doing if for God. How is building bigger barns going to help us if we are focusing on them and not the field that is white unto harvest. If we aren't harvesting, who is going to fill the barns/churches and how can we afford the upkeep? From God's perspective which is of more value, the harvest or the barn?

Passionate Purpose v.s. The Will of God

There have been times in my life where an idea would come to mind that I would feel very passionate about. I just knew that if I could get it to come together God would be glorified in many ways. I mean after all surely the idea had to come from Him. They are good ideas, ideas that serve others, ideas that would surely bring others to know Him or know Him better, ideas that I thought God would surely be on board for.

I felt passion for them. Not just I wish I could or wouldn't it be nice if... No these were ideas that I had plans for that I felt surely would get a Hallejuah, she got the message.

We all often have times when we have good intentions about things we are passionate about. And sometimes that is exactly where God is leading us but at times it is more like us leading us. How often did I actually stop and ask God, is this what you want me to do?

I think often we validate what we want to do with the fact that it can fit in the mandates of God to be light in a world of darkness, to tell others about Him, and to have Him be the focus of our plans. Kind of like the looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, so it must be a duck kind of logic. But God works in different ways than we do. We can't apply man's logic to the workings of God. He is above that.

I am often reminded of King David and his son Solomon. King David wanted to build the temple, He made preparations for it and had plans for it, but he wasn't the one God chose to do it. The task fell to his son Solomon. David had a passion but it wasn't to be God's plan.

I think at times I have become so involved in passions and plans of my making that I often don't see what God is truly calling me to do or maybe what God is calling me to do seems to pale in comparrison in my mind to what I have come up with. Surely God called me to something grander than that or why would I feel so passionate about this if God wasn't teh author of it?

God is in the big and miraculous but He is also in the small and simple. He works in the everyday. He doesn't need me to fulfill His plans but allows me to be involved. God is in a manger in a small town, God is in the lives of simple fishermen, God is in the compassion for two sisters who lost their brother, God is in presence of children who people chastise, God is in the calming of fears of His friends, God is in the washing of disciples feet. God is in it all!

My passion for Him and His call needs to be in His purpose, not one of my own design. He doesn't need to get on board with my ideas, I need to get on track with His.

Something We Can All Relate To...

The Mourning Booth


This is a great video. I think we can all relate to this skit by the Skit Guys. I think we have all been there or have been with those who are there or have been there. I think sometimes we feel we have to do something for those that are in "the valley" but in reality sometimes just being there is what they need.

Even when we are in the valley it is hard to hear things will get better or you shall overcome this. Sometimes just having someone hug us or hold our hand is what we need. When you are in the dark place known as the valley very bright light can sometimes hurt our eyes or make us cringe. The shiny and happy people of our lives don't really offer us the comfort we need.

I think we can all relate to this and I hope we can learn something from it.

You can check out more things from the Skit Guys on www.tangle.com

At What Cost?

Keeping in line with my previous blog, I wanted to share some of the things I have been wrestling with for the past few months.

What does it mean to be a Christian parent?

Does it mean we make sure our kids do church stuff?
Does it mean we thank God for our kids?
Does it mean we try to make sure they get some Bible learning along the way?
Does it mean we feel as if we ride the fence between two different worlds?
Does it mean we assume our kids would never do what those "other kids" do?

Or

Does it mean we embrace the vision for moms and dads and families as a whole that God intended?
Does it mean we realize we are in the world but should not be of the world?
Does it mean our family's goals and focus should be on what Christ has called us to be and not what our neighbors are doing?
Does it mean that we are willing to sacrifice the comforts of this world for eternal life and eternal things that moth and fire can not corrupt?
Does it mean that making the difficult choices that aren't always popular are understood to have eternal consequences instead of short term discomfort?


What does it mean to have the awesome responsibility to raise up children in the knowledge of God and help lead them to a relationship with Jesus Christ?

Is it part of our To Do list that we just check off once they wade through the water of a baptism pool?

Do we realize that the call of a Christian parent is a call to sacrifice not just our time and money but ourselves?

Are we willing to go against the tide that accepts what the world has to offer in exchange for what God is offering us?

Today more than ever Christian families are under attack. We can blame it on all kinds of things and not that they don't have a part in it but the reality we as Christian parents are to blame if we don't truly understand what God is calling us to as parents.

Christian parenting should be more than providing stuff, activities, and basics for a child. Christian parenting should be more than offering no worse than what the world sets for a standard. Christian parenting shouldn't look like worldly parenting. But sadly for most of us it does. The real difference in Christian parenting these days in most cases is that many of us make sure our kids are in church on Sundays and sometimes we talk about religious stuff but other than that there isn't a real difference.

Here is a challenge that I think brings it home. For the next two weeks keep your current schedule. Don't change anything. Write down what you and your kids did for every hour of the day. Then at the end of each day go back and figure out how much time was spent honoring and glorifying God or even just strengthening your and your kids relationship with Him. How often did you or your family pray? How often did you talk about things that God has shown you? How often did you and your kids read a Bible or do a devotion or just talk about how something in your life was affected by God's promises or calling? Calculate how much real family time you spent. Calculate how much time you spent with God? Calculate how much time you and your kids spent in the world as the world? Was their a real difference in how you or your kids did things compared to others?

I think we have to be real here. I think it is time we quit playing Christian dress up on Sundays and become who we were called to be - followers of Christ that are willing to follow no matter what the cost. We are called as Christian parents to parent according to God's standards and not what others may say is right. We aren't called to something easy but we are called to something that is wonderful. We aren't called to build bigger barns by working insane hours to make sure we have a big home, a three car garage, every video game platform, all kinds of extra-curricular activities for our kids and countless other things we work toward and plan for. We are called to bring up our kids in the knowledge and admonition of the Lord. We are called to show our children the love of God and the sacrifice of His son. We are called to make a difference and be the difference. We are called to be on our knees and in the trenches fighting for our kids and our families.

What are we willing to sacrifice for our families and our children? Are we willing to take back our families no matter what the cost? Or are we content to keep plugging along in our comfortable lives hoping that our kids will catch all they need from our short visits to church and the values we think we are passing on?

If as Christian parents we take our job seriously, we are going to have to sacrifice. Sacrifice our time, sacrifice our financial gain, sacrifice our needs, and so much more. In Matthew 16:26, Jesus asks the question, "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" I think the question that we need to answer answer as well is, what will it profit us as parents if we gain the world and sacrifice our children in the process?

Are We Comfortable or Comforted?

I have not posted in a while because I have been wrestling over a lot of things and could never seem to get them in word form correctly. I think there are times when we wrestle with things and we have to just get to a point where we understand them more before we can share with others.

I think there are times when God brings us to a point of discovery that doesn't seem as exhilarating as I am sure the discovery of land from the ships of Columbus must have been. It is the kind of discovery where you feel worn out and like you have been wrung out. It is the kind of journey where there aren't fun and tacky t-shirts and beautiful post cards with the words "Wish You Were Here!". It is the kind of journey where you feel blistered, hungry, and somewhat not yourself. Like you just finished crossing a desert and want nothing more than a cool drink of water and a bed to sleep in.

I have been through a time of accepting the whole call of being a mother as something more than what the world would say it is. I have been through God convicting me of what a child's education should be. I have been through a time of God showing me how important my relationship is to him in regards to my relationship with others. I have wrestled with how to measure my successes or how I view success by how God would measure it and not how the world would measure it.I have also been wrestling with accepting that the call of a daughter, or son for that matter, of the Heavenly Father is not one that will always make you feel comfortable but one in which He will always be there to comfort you.

I will post more on these discoveries this week, but the question for now is:
Do the goals we have and the lives we lead reflect a desire to become what God has truly called us to be or do they reflect one of comfort and worldly success? This isn't always an easy question to answer. Often we find we have truly missed the mark for God. I know that I have in many ways. Are we comfortable or comforted?

The Prodigal Point

I think for most Christians we can all relate to the story Jesus tells of the Prodigal Son. The story of a son who asks his father for his inheritance early so he can go live his life on his terms. Then after squandering his money and sinking to depths he thought he would never get to, he decides to go back home and ask to be at least a servant in his own father's house. Upon his return his father welcomes him home with love and reestablishes him to the place of son with much celebration. I have always found it interesting that this story is so relevant to most of our lives.

There is a point in time when we stop running from God and start going back towards. That point in time when our direction changes, to me, is called the prodigal point. The point when we change our direction from one that is of our own making to one that is in God's plan. It can be a slow gradual change or a definite ninety degree or higher angle turn.

I think as Christians we often feel that point is the moment of salvation but in reality it is more at the point where we realize it is all about Him and not about me. Is is the point where we realize, He must increase and I must decrease.

I am not sure that there was one exact point in time that I can say definitely on this day I started back towards my Heavenly Father but there was a point where I understood that to continually search all directions of my life compass when the needle was pointing to God was going to be futile.

I think there comes a time when we have tried it our way, realize what we thought we wanted isn't making us happy, or we still feel something is missing that we begin to look outsides ourselves for the answer. Even as Christians I think we spend some time wandering the Fields of Ourselves looking for answers that just don't seem to come or seem to be wrong.

I realized that after the birth of our third child that God was calling me to stay home with our kids. I didn't get all the calling right as I also thought they should be in private school which ended up being a financial nightmare, but the part of being with my kids was right. This seemed so contrary to my previous college ambitions and career I had when I quit working. I have a degree in Business with an International Concentration. Yep, I wanted to work for a global company, travel to foreign places, and be somebody. Did you see the reoccurring word in all of that - "I".

I wanted, I was going to, and my career. So full of self. So lacking in looking to God for direction. My first job out of college was no where in the international arena. I was working for a company in Tallassee, Alabama. Definitely not to be found in international destinations or travel magazines. A nice, cute, and southern town but it definitely did not require a passport. I was working for an international company, but in the manufacturing facility where I did technical support I wasn't about to be able to be asked to convert my American dollars for Euros, Pesos, Yen, or any other exotic foreign currency.

My training in imports and exports, foreign customs, and my minor in Spanish gave way to the clean up song from Barney, a cute little ditty from a tomato and a cucumber and how to get three kids out the door in under 30 minutes if necessary. My desire to "make things happen" became a desire to keep my sanity amidst toddler meltdowns, play dates, and school functions. My negotiation skills became overshadowed by negotiating the lines at Toys R Us and the dreaded Chuck E. Cheese as well as negotiating nap time in exchange for a Disney video later.

The jaguar I hoped to have one day became a mini-van and the nice clothes became functional and machine washable because you can't even hope to get spit up out of silk blouse. But before I start to sound as if I wish I had the Jag, the nice clothes, and knew how to make a deal in six languages, I can honestly say that once I came to the prodigal point all that didn't matter. A "thank you mommy" and time playing with my kids has become far more rewarding than any score on an annual review. My children became the priority and learning to follow God's lead became the business plan.

I wish I had learned it earlier and maybe it is more like accepted it earlier. I know that it wouldn't have made it necessarily easier, but I would be further down the road and would have spent more time in His will instead of mine.

I started heading in the direction of learning what His will for my life is and not what my will is. I haven't quite mastered it yet and know I probably won't quite get there for awhile but I am headed in that direction. It is hard to head back to our Father broken, ashamed, and humbled by the mess or stress we have created attempting to do it our way. The thing is, that is just one of the times He pours out His unfailing love on us. He understands and He is able to restore us to what we were meant to be.

The prodigal point is a point of beginning and understanding. It isn't a point of perfection, but a point of persistence and providence. It is the point we go forward and know that It is His will that matters and not mine.

Comments and Ideas Please

I wrote the story below about 5 years ago. I know He gave me the story to write because it only took me about an hour to write and it just flowed from my fingers as I typed. It was during a time when I was struggling with my heart knowing that God heard my prayers but mind struggling with it because of all the things going on in my life. It seemed as if the doors to heaven were closed when I cried out. I know God heard me and I can see that with distance from then. It was at this time that I sat down one afternoon and an hour later I had written this story. I know God was showing me in His gentle way that He is always listening, and will show us in His way in His time.

I am considering sending it to some publishers to see if it is publishable. I sent it shortly after I finished it five years ago to one publisher and received a rejection letter. I decided it wasn't in God's timing, but lately have felt him pushing me to try again. I would love comments and constructive criticism on it. I know there are typos and mistakes, so please forgive them. If you want to let me know where they are, please do so. Sometimes when you are writing something you tend to make the corrections in your mind and they become more difficult to see when they are on paper. For those that have read it before, please forgive the redundancy.

Thank you and I hope you enjoy...


Emily's Gift

Emily woke up early with a smile on her face. It was Valentines Day! She was very excited. Emily loved Valentine’s Day! It was filled with pink and red, her two favorite colors and they were going to have a party at school. She got dressed in the new dress her mom had bought her. Emily ran downstairs to eat breakfast. Her dad was already at the table.
“Good morning honey,” he said. “Why are you so excited?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day!” Emily almost shouted.

“Yes, it is”, he said with a smile, “How is my little sweetheart?”

“Fine” Emily said with a huge smile.

“How do pancakes sound?” her mom said coming over to give Emily a hug.

“Can you put a chocolate chip smiley face on them?” Emily asked.

“Smiley Valentine pancakes coming up” her mom replied.

After she had finished eating her mom said, “Can you take some muffins to Mrs. Esther for me?”

“Yes!” said Emily excited.

Mrs. Esther was their neighbor. She was an elderly lady that lived next door to them. Emily liked to visit Mrs. Esther. You always had to be on your best behavior at Mrs. Esther’s house and you had to remember your manners, but Mrs. Esther was very kind and she told wonderful stories about when she was a little girl.

Emily’s mother got the muffins ready and sent Emily next door. She walked up the sidewalk to Mrs. Esther’s front porch. During the spring and summer, Mrs. Esther had a beautiful yard. Mrs. Esther spent much of her time working in the flowerbeds and Emily knew you did not go in Mrs. Esther’s flowerbeds. That was one rule she had learned when she was younger. Emily skipped up the porch steps and knocked on the door. She waited patiently and she heard Mrs. Esther shuffle across the wooden floor to the door. Mrs. Esther opened the wooden door and looked at Emily through the screen door.

“Good morning Emily. You look very pretty this morning.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Esther” Emily replied. “Here are some muffins mom made”.

Mrs. Esther opened the screen door and taking the basket from Emily said, “Come inside. It is cold outside sweetie.” Emily stepped into the house and felt the warmth. Mrs. Esther went to put the muffins in the kitchen. The familiar aroma of Mrs. Esther’s house made her smile. It always smelled like dried flowers, apples and cinnamon. Emily loved the way Mrs. Esther’s house smelled. Mrs. Esther called out from the kitchen, “I know you have to get to school, but I wanted to give you something.”

When she came back into the room, she was carrying a little pink bag with a red ribbon. “I got you something for Valentine’s Day”, she said with a smile. Emily’s eyes sparkled. She had never received a present from Mrs. Esther just for her. At Christmas time, Mrs. Esther always baked cookies and a pie for her family. Mrs. Esther sat down beside her, “I hope you like it."

Emily looked in the bag and inside was a small blue velvet box. She picked up the box and opened it. Inside was a charm bracelet with one small charm. The charm was a silver heart with red jewel inside it. Emily smiled and hugged Mrs. Esther. Emily couldn’t believe Mrs. Esther had remembered. Last fall, Emily had told Mrs. Esther how she would love to have a charm bracelet. She told Mrs. Esther how her mom had said she would have to wait and how disappointed she had been. Emily had thought she would get one for Christmas but somehow Santa had overlooked it. Emily had kept a hope that she would get one for her birthday when she turned nine in May. Holding up the sparking charm bracelet, she felt so happy. “Thank you Mrs. Esther! Thank you so much!”

“I thought it might go with your new dress. Now hurry on back to your house so you can get to school on time.”

Emily gave Mrs. Esther one more hug and skipped out of the house, down the porch and onto the sidewalk. As she skipped down the sidewalk passed the big oak tree in Mrs. Esther’s front yard, she saw the wooden and iron bench under the tree. She and Mrs. Esther had shared a lot of time on this bench. Mrs. Esther would tell Emily stories, show her how to crochet, talk about life, and listen to Emily when her parents were busy or Emily just needed someone to talk to. Emily had heard other people say Mrs. Esther was not overly friendly or she was kind of stand offish, whatever that meant, but Emily didn’t care, she had always been nice to her. When Emily had asked her mom about it, her mom had said that Mrs. Esther had just seemed really sad since her husband Mr. Charles had died. Emily did not remember much about Mr. Charles. He had died when she was two. Emily always felt a little sad that Mrs. Esther lived all by herself. She couldn’t imagine how awful it would be if she was all alone.

Emily looked at the charm bracelet and the little heart charm. She wished she had something to give Mrs. Esther.

Emily had a wonderful time at school and she had a whole box of Valentines to show her mom when she got home. Emily ran into the house almost out of breath. “Look mom at all the valentines I got.”
“I see, they are very pretty Emily.” “How was your class party?”
“It was a lot of fun and everyone loved the heart shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you made.”

Her mom smiled, she remember how much she had enjoyed the heart shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich her mom had made her when she was little, so she had cut out little heart shaped sandwiches for Emily’s class.

“Mom,” Emily said, bringing her mom’s mind back to Emily and the kitchen they were sitting in, “I’m going upstairs to put away my things and change my clothes. Then can I play for a while? I don’t have any homework tonight.”
“Yes, Emily, you can, “ “Don’t forget to bring down you valentine for Daddy.”
“Thanks mom, I won’t forget and make sure you let me know before he gets home.”

Emily went to her room. She did all the things she was supposed to do and then sat down on her bed. She had a fun day but somewhere in the back of her mind she couldn’t stop thinking about Mrs. Esther. She looked at the charm bracelet. If only she could think of something wonderful to get Mrs. Esther, then maybe she wouldn’t be sad anymore. Emily’s mom found her sitting on her bed staring out the window. “Why so serious, Emmie? I thought you had a good day.”
“I did momma, I was just thinking about Mrs. Esther.”

“I was trying to think of something nice to give her since she gave me this wonderful charm bracelet. I feel bad I don’t have anything to give her.”

“I am sure Mrs. Esther was not expecting you to give her something in return,” her mom said, “After all that isn’t why you should give someone a gift.”

“I know, it’s just that Mrs. Esther, doesn’t really have anyone to give her a gift.”

“That’s true, but you know sometimes just spending time with some one is a gift to them.” “You enjoy spending time with Mrs. Esther and I am sure she enjoys spending time with you.”

“I know mom, but it isn’t quite the same thing.” “I would really like to see Mrs. Esther smile so that her face can’t hold back the joy.”

Emily’s mom smiled. Emily was such a caring little girl and she was glad to see her concern for Mrs. Esther.

“Mom, why doesn’t Mrs. Esther go to church? She would probably have a lot of friends then.”

“You are probably right about her having a lot of friends, but she doesn’t feel like going to church.”

“Why, is she sick?” Emily asked. Emily loved going to church and she couldn’t image anyone not feeling like going unless you were sick.

“It is kind of complicated", her mom said with a deep breath.

Her mom sat down. “Mrs. Esther used to go to our church when you were a baby. She also used to have a lot of friends, and I think she enjoyed going to church as well.” Emily’s mom said with a smile. “But after Mr. Charles died, Mrs. Esther stopped coming. I tried to get her to come back but she said she felt as if God had forgotten her when Mr. Charles died. She had prayed and prayed for him to get well and stay with her and in the end it did not seem to matter. Mrs. Esther was really sad about it and she just felt God didn’t answer her prayers because He did not love her or remember her.”

“But mommy, God loves all of us and he doesn’t forget who we are.”

“Yes, you’re right Emily, but sometimes we forget that and it is hard to remember when we go through difficult times.”

“You know that dogwood tree right outside Mrs. Esther’s living room window by the front porch?”

“Yes,” Emily said slowly.

“It has never bloomed in the spring since Mr. Charles died.”

“Why doesn’t it bloom? The tree is still alive.”

“You are right and I am not sure why it stopped blooming. Trees can be like people I guess and still be living but not blooming and missing joy and beauty in life. It is almost as if the tree knows how Mrs. Esther feels.”

“Why doesn’t she plant a new dogwood tree?”

“It wouldn’t be the same, sweetie. Mr. Charles planted that tree for their anniversary one year. It is a special tree to Mrs. Esther.”

Emily’s mom looked at her watch. It was almost time for dinner and for Emily’s daddy to be home. “Well sweetie, we had better get daddy’s Valentine surprise ready.”
“Ok mom, just give me a few minutes and I’ll bring my stuff and help you get the table ready.”

Emily looked out her window at Mrs. Esther’s house next door. She could see the dogwood tree standing in the cold and looking lifeless. She knew it would be green again during the summer, but she wondered if it would bloom this year.

Emily got her daddy’s valentine and the surprise one she had made for her mom and went into the dining room. She gave her mom her surprise valentine. Her mom hugged her and gave her a kiss. Emily was happy. She enjoyed surprises and liked to surprise people. When her daddy came home they had a wonderful dinner and he gave Emily’s mom and her some flowers and a box of candy.

When it was time for bed her parents came in to tell her good night. Emily sat on the bed and said, “I know what I am going to give Mrs. Esther”

“What?” her mom asked.

“I am going to pray that God will have her dogwood tree bloom this spring.”

Emily’s parent looked at each other, “That is a wonderful idea,” her mom said.
That night Emily knelt beside her bed with her parents and prayed,

“Dear God,
Thank you for my mom and dad, and our house, and all the
wonderful things you have given me. Thank you for the beautiful day. Forgive me
for the wrong things I did. Help me to listen to mommy, daddy, and my teachers.
And God, if it is possible, I pray that Mrs. Esther’s dogwood tree will bloom
this spring. Please show her you love her and you still remember her. Thank you
and God, Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Emily Amen.”

Emily’s mom and dad smiled. “That was very nice, Emmie,” her dad said with a hug. "I know God is glad you are concerned about Mrs. Esther. It is important for us to remember God loves us all especially when we have to remember for those who feel forgotten." Emily got into bed and went to sleep.

Every night for the rest of winter and sometimes at dinnertime too, Emily prayed for Mrs. Esther and her dogwood tree. She just knew Mrs. Esther would finally smile from the inside if the tree would bloom.

Finally the cold days of winter ended and it started to warm up again. It was only a week away from Easter. Everything seemed to be in bloom. The daffodils and tulips were very pretty in Mrs. Esther’s yard. Emily had help Mrs. Esther plant them so she felt a certain pride in how pretty they were. Emily went to visit Mrs. Esther. They sat on the bench and admired the flowers and the warm sun. “It’s almost Easter, Mrs. Esther.” Emily said excitedly.

“Yes, it is.” Mrs. Esther said somewhat quietly. She was looking at the dogwood tree with a longing in her eyes.

Emily felt sad. It still had not bloomed. She was certain God could do it, maybe He needed a little more time. “Mrs. Esther, I was wondering if you would come to church with us next week on Easter Sunday? I know you don’t usually go, but I thought you could come and then have lunch with us. I asked mom and she said it was fine.”

Mrs. Esther looked at Emily with a soft half smile, “Thank you for asking, my dear, but I am not sure I will feel up to dinner and church. Could I rest in the morning and come for dinner?”
Emily looked at Mrs. Esther and said, “Sure, I will miss you at church, but having you come to lunch will be wonderful.”

Saturday evening before Easter, Emily wrote a card to Mrs. Esther. She felt like she had failed in her prayer attempts and was not sure if she should tell Mrs. Esther that she hadn’t prayed hard enough for her to get her special gift. She decided she would tell Mrs. Esther so at least she would know Emily had not forgotten her. Emily woke up very early Easter Sunday and put on her new pink dress with flowers. She hurried into the kitchen and quietly crept out the door. Silently she went next door with the basket of muffins and candy she and her mom had made for Mrs. Esther. Emily put her card on top and left the basket by the door where Mrs. Esther would find it when she went to get the newspaper. Emily hurried back to her house and finished getting ready for church. As they left for church, Emily looked back but knew she wouldn’t see Mrs. Esther till lunch time.

As soon as Emily’s family had left, Mrs. Esther went out to get the newspaper. She saw the basket and card. She bent down and picked the basket up and brought it back inside. She saw Emily’s writing on the envelope. She smiled She opened the hand made card. On the outside Emily had drawn a cross with red and pink tulips all around it. She had written Happy Easter Mrs. Esther. When she opened it and began reading she sat down and all of the sudden she felt the warmth and wetness of tears spilling down her face. She could scarcely belief what she was reading. Emily had written her a little note that said.

Mrs. Esther,
I had hoped this would be a very special Easter and spring
for you. I have prayed during the winter for your dogwood tree to bloom. I
thought that maybe if it bloomed you would not think God had not forgotten you.
I am not sure why it has not bloomed. I know God must have a plan, but I wanted
you to know I have not forgotten you, and if an eight almost nine year old who
forgets her reading book from time to time can remember you, I am sure God
remembers you and loves you to. I am sorry I did not pray hard enough or long
enough for the tree to bloom. Maybe next year.
Love,
Emily

Mrs. Esther felt the tears run down her face and she got up and walked to the window. She looked out at the tree and then wiped her eyes. She saw something that made her breath catch. On one lone branch there was a flower - a tiny white dogwood flower. She couldn’t believe it. She hurried outside despite the fact she was still in her nightgown. She went and looked closer. Yes, it was a dogwood flower. She had a hard time believing it. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them. It was real. God had not forgotten her. She could feel years of sadness and loneliness flowing away in the tears that had started streaming down her face. She hurried inside and looked at the clock. She had forty-five minutes, could she make it?

Emily was leaving Sunday school to go into the Worship service with her parents. She saw an older lady in a beautiful pink dress with a white hat with a pink flower on it standing at the top of the stairs. She wondered how Mrs. Esther would have looked in a dress like. She thought Mrs. Esther would like it since Mrs. Esther liked hats. As she reached the top of the steps the lady turned and looked at her. It was Mrs. Esther and Emily could see her smiling with a joy her face could not hold back. Emily ran to her and hugged her.

“You came!”
“Yes, Emily I did. I had to make sure you knew God answers prayer and you weren’t the only one that remembered me.”
“What do you mean?” Emily asked.
“The tree, it has one white flower on it. It might not be a lot, but it was enough and I am sure with both of us praying this winter, it will be full next spring.”

Emily smiled and took Mrs. Esther’s hand. Emily’s mom and dad smiled and they walked behind their neighbor and their daughter thanking God for answered prayers.

Online Again

I am finally back online after waiting for 6 days to have our Internet connection restored. We changed our telephone service to another carrier and chaos ensued with our Internet service. Needless to say, it has been a long and frustrating six days. It made me aware of how much I use the Internet to find recipes, look up phone numbers, stay in touch with friends, and other things. I am glad I am back to being connected.

I was very blessed in that the service wasn't disconnected before I was able to upload the kids' photos to Walgreen's for printing that we took for Father's Day presents. We are trying to watch our money so the kids and I decided to update daddy's photos at work.

Here are some of them:


















I was glad we at least were able to give daddy his gift. He was really glad to have new pictures for work.

I am glad I am back online and can catch up with my email and blog friends.

Spiritual Tantrums

I think we have all been a spectator or been in the middle of dealing with a tantrum from a small child out in public. It usually happens at a store and you will hear the crying and whining, "Why, Why, Why?", or the "I want it!", or the lovely, "no, no, no!" all these are followed by screaming and/or the child throwing themselves on the floor and refusing to do what the parent is telling them to do. I always hate witnessing these scenes. They aren't pleasant for anyone, particularly the parent having to deal with it.

As I picture the whole scene in my mind a thought occurred to me. How often does God see us throw spiritual tantrums? Tantrums where we question God about the state of things in our lives or whine and cry about why things are the way they are. I know I have these meltdowns from time to time. I am sure it is as unpleasant for God as the ones parents deal with here on earth.

It is one thing to have a two year old that doesn't quite understand the program have a meltdown, but what about a 39 year old who should understand that is just not behavior becoming of a child of God? Who has the bigger issues the toddler or the 39 year old?

Why do I feel that if I have a spiritual tantrum that God is going to be more willing to answer my cries or give me what I want? Why do I think that a meltdown is more likely to bring my heavenly Father around to my way of thinking, than for me to look to Him for wisdom and guidance in a graceful and patient manner?

How do I reflect God when I seem to be a sniveling, whiney, and spoiled child who asks for more and more? Why isn't the gift of salvation and a God of love and acceptance enough?

I think it has to do with acceptance. Acceptance on my part to know that I don't have to have what the world says I need to have. I don't have to have everything perfect in order to be alright. It is the acceptance that through the trials I become closer to God and become more understanding of my place as His child. It is in understanding that if my life was everything I thought it should be, it wouldn't be everything God can make it or make me to be.

I use to run for the furthest part of the store when I would hear a child's tantrum begin. It is so uncomfortable and I know if I was the parent the least people that watch my distress the better. Now, I move away but think about how I am acting as a child of God. Would my heavenly father be proud of the way I am acting and look forward to going out with me, or would He tense up at the thought of taking His undisciplined child out for the day?

I am not sure I will ever totally get a handle on my spiritual meltdowns, but I do think I am slowly gaining ground in dealing with them. I am sure God thinks it is about time for a 39 year old to stop kicking and screaming when He is working me back into His will.

American Pie - A Second Helping

It is amazing that as a nation we have been through so much yet have learned so little or maybe we have forgotten too much. In our race to be politically correct, not trample on everyone’s rights, and get our share of the American Pie we have forgotten from whence we came.

Life in early America and even America up to about 70 or so years ago, was about hard but honest work, helping others when needed without looking for the reward, only buying what you could afford, and a strong devotion to this county with a desire to see its past principles carried on and a pride in our country that was not haughty or self absorbed. When I watch the news or read about what has happened in the news, I am saddened in many ways. There are the numerous stories about how people treat others with hate, fear, murder, theft, and so on, but as horrible as all these things are, just as bad is the sickly pallor of our nation and the rejection of it or lack of compassion for it by her own people.

We seem not to care that as we go about our lives based on the “pursuit of happiness” we forget it is the “pursuit of happiness” we are guaranteed not “happiness” itself. We have the ability to “pursue” happiness because of the sacrifices of others and because of the framework on which this country was built.

When we, as people in a nation, become more concerned with our piece of the pie instead of the whole pie, we begin to lose. We focus on “Is your piece bigger than mine?”, “Where is my piece?” “What did he or she do it get that piece of pie?”, “Are there nuts in my piece of pie?”, “Why does my neighbor have more crust or less crust?” or whatever we think we just have to have. Instead of seeing the whole pie is precariously perched on the edge of the table and is close to falling, we are glancing over our piece and looking at everyone else’s piece to compare them. Now, that is not to say that we shouldn’t be concerned about our piece but only in relation to making sure we take care of our piece and not let it fall on the floor, or be left for others to ravage through. We also have to realize that once we have a piece we are responsible and accountable for it and we can not assume the pie or others will take care of it.

We are given our rights to pursue happiness but not at the cost of watching the whole nation crumble under our greed in our desire for the best piece of pie expecting it to cost us as little as possible with the least amount of work. When I look at the state of our nation, I am reminded of the analogy of the difference between involvement and commitment. "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' -the pig was 'committed'." Are we involved with making our America stronger or are we committed? Are we involved in keeping the pie from the edge by carrying a sign, “watch for falling pie”, or are we going to get in there and push back until it is away from the edge regardless of the size of our piece?

When will we realize that just getting a piece of pie, no matter how big or small that it is, is a blessing and one we need to be thankful for regardless of how much we have. We also need to realize that the pie we eat was made by others and if we don’t get in and get committed to making more pie based on the old fashioned recipe there will not be any “American Pie” for future generations.

Questions or Faith?

I guess I must be in a pondering mood because besides pondering about all the stuff I normally ponder about, I have been pondering something else lately. I have been considering all questions we attempt to answer about God and His relationship with man. Questions that range from did God allow evil in the world, can God create evil, does man have free will, or does God choose those that are His children? There are so many more as well. There are different camps on every side of a question or issue and many of them can back up their positions with verses in the Bible. I have been wrestling with some of these issues as well and in the midst of the struggle a clear thought has occurred to me. Does it all really matter to my relationship with God? Do I need answers to these questions in order to have a strong faith in God, or isn't that what faith is in many ways believing in God without having to know the whole picture?

Throughout history men have fought each other through words, deeds, and even with weapons over the disputes in our "understanding" of God and his motivations, actions, and thoughts. I think in many ways our "questions" serve more to divide than unite. Why are we driven to figure God out? Is it something we need to do in order to mitigate the feeling that we are less than God, or it is a feeling that we have to understand in order to follow?

I will use the illustration of a parent and child. There are many times as parents we will tell a child something or give them a command and when we are questioned, we say, "because I said so." There may be a reason for why we don't explain our reasons or actions. There may not be time, the child may not have the maturity or ability to totally understand, and then there is the reason of we are in authority and that is all there is to it. How do we feel when a child questions us in these situations? Do we feel closer to the child or do we feel a little put off that we need to explain ourselves? After all we are the parent. Our child should just trust us and know that we have the experience and knowledge to know what is best.

Do I need to question my Heavenly Father on His reasons for things or do I just need to follow what He has told me. Jesus used many illustrations about sheep during his time here on earth and even compared himself to a good shepherd. Sheep follow their master. They don't have to know why the master does what he does, they just know that protection lies with the master. God did make us smarter than the average sheep and he did give us the ability to question things but does this really give us the permission to do so? Maybe our cognitive abilities were meant for other things.

Being human and not able to understand the mind of God, why do we attempt to answer the questions we raise? If we consider The Bible God's instruction book for us all, why do we have volumes and volumes of books in stores that attempt to "answer" our many questions? Why are there so many different answers?

I think in many ways man's questions serve mostly to divide us. I don't think that is the intention of the questions, but I have to wonder what is the intention? I don't think I need to understand why sin or evil exist. I know it does. I also know that because they do exist we are separated from God and because of them we have to have a way back to God. That way was made available through the death and resurrection of His son Jesus. Through my acceptance of Jesus as God's son and the acceptance of Him sacrificing himself for me I reestablish a relationship with God the Father.

If I accept God as sovereign and I put my faith and trust in Him? Haven't I already said I will follow Him and I don't need verification through the answering of all these question to arrive at that place. Do I need to truly know whether I chose God or whether He chose me? Does the answer to that relieve me of anything? No, I am required to go out and tell others and help bring them to a knowledge of the love of God and the grace He offers.

I think we get too hung up in our search for answers to questions that in reality don't change what God has told us in the Bible. Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father except through him. If we were truly capable of understanding the mind or actions of God, wouldn't we be just like him and isn't the desire for that what muddied the water in the first place?

I know there are many that would say I have taken an overly simple position on issues that are complicated and require more thought. I say that while God is a complex God, the way He relates to people is simple. A baby in a manger, a woman at a well, the hunger of a multitude, the anguish over the death of a brother, a death on a cross are all easy to understand. We understand a mother's pain and joy, looking for love in all the wrong places, hunger, the pain felt at the death of a loved one, and the sacrifice of one that didn't deserve to die. These are the messages God leaves for us and how He reveals Himself. Messages of real human joy and suffering and He tell us how to deal with them.

I think to truly follow God is give up our desire to understand why, and to desire how we are to follow. That is where our study should begin and never end.

In the Book of John, Jesus left simple instructions to Peter, "Feed my sheep." Are we busy feeding sheep and helping others draw closer to Him, or are we feeding our own desire to know things that leave us with more questions?

While I sit and Ponder...

Several months ago I wrote a blog titled The Stealth Christian. I followed it with another called the Great Omission. I was intrigued at the time with what were some major issues as I saw them in the church today. Not any one particular church but for the church as a whole, as the body of Christ.

I have been thinking about the impact these issues have on the Christian family. I am still considering these things and intend to post about them in the next week. I feel so compelled to draw attention to the need for families, especially Christian parents, to refocus their attention of putting God at the forefront of their families. There are so many families that just check out of church during recital season, summer, certain sports seasons, or just because they don't see a need to attend church on a regular basis. The question that intrigues me is which part fell apart first - the parent's relationship with God or their relationship with the church? Or is can it be a simultaneous thing. And then what needs to be done to revive these relationships?

The impact of a person's or parent's flat lined relationship with God is far reaching beyond them. It is as if the flat line of spiritual growth reverberates across their sphere of influence and impacts so many others. It may seem flat and appears to be a whimper across a broad spectrum of societal noise but it is a cry that the church can't ignore.

I know I don't have all the answers. I am not even sure I am close to presenting some ideas, but I do know it is something we as the body of Christ need to stand up and take notice of and work towards fixing.

Can You Hear the Music and Smell the Cake?

The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money. Alexis de Tocqueville

Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. Alexis de Tocqueville

There is a saying that "Nero fiddled while Rome burned". Now before you get all excited and say that is an anachronism and the fiddle wasn't created until a thousand years later, I think you understand the meaning of it. The point is that while Rome was in distress and on fire, her leaders didn't seem to care about the population or city. Now onto the, "Let them eat cake", comment. This has often been attributed to Marie Antoinette though there is some historical dispute about this. Regardless of who said it, it is said that at the time of the quote, the French population was struggling under enormous financial distress and the French monarchy didn't seem to care and had a rather unsympathetic attitude toward the people's distress. Now I know it wasn't the cake we think of today, it was more of a pastry, whether a pastry or frosted cake, the meaning stays the same.

When I step back and look at American today, I can hear the music and smell the aroma of cake baking. Our government has lost touch with the populace, lost touch with our founding principals, and lost touch with reality in many ways. We have government officials who don't seem to think they should pay taxes, should be able to throw lavish parties at taxpayer expense, wear clothing that most of us couldn't afford, send their children to private schools that doesn't show a confidence in the public school system they claim to support, make millions off of book deals, and try to spin their way out of bad decisions or bad situations.

They are the Scarlett O'Haras of today. As Rhett Butler would say, they are "like the thief who isn't the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly, terribly sorry he's going to jail." When they are caught they aren't concerned about what they did as much as getting caught. The thing is our politicians don't usually go to jail when they go outside the bounds of the law. Like Scarlett they usually find a way to bend the situation to their will and many times come out on top like the illustrious southern belle.

If those that forget history are doomed to repeat it then we are definitely there. We are those that Joseph de Maistre talks of when he wrote, "Every country has the government it deserves". If we can hear the fiddle and taste the cake it is because we have done nothing to stop it. We have waited for government to bail us out, lead us here or there, take away freedoms that were part of the founding of our country, and we have waited for the government to fix every perceived bad situation.

Where are the people who take a stand for what is right not just politically but morally? Where are the people who will stand and say this is enough? Where are the people who will say we don't have to buy houses we can't afford or live beyond our means because we are jealous, greedy, and spoiled people? Where are the people who believe in courage and freedom, not the people who would enslave us to the government so that the small group of politicians and individuals can ride the last waves of prosperity in this country on the efforts of the average person? Where is the motivation, inspiration, religious conviction, and willingness to sacrifice of our founding fathers and ancestors that said, enough is enough?

We could point the blame at those that govern right now, and I am not speaking of any one government official, but the reality is we put them there. Not just those currently in government but those over the past years that have had their part in the way things are today. Yes, we the people voted them there whether in ignorance, lack of understanding, apathy, or because we didn't check the facts and bought the image of what we thought we were getting and didn't see past the facade to the reality. If we are part of the problem, then we must be part of the solution. It is time to end the apathy and lack of accountability.

They say it isn't over until you hear the fat lady singing well, my friends, she hasn't hit her stride yet, but from the looks of it she is in the dressing room feasting on cake while the string section gets in tune. This is one concert I hope we have the courage to stop because once she sings, there won't be a need for an encore.

This Little Light

When I was younger, we used to sing this song in Sunday school called “This Little Light of Mine”. I have abbreviated the number of lines we sang since they were repeated a few times but the lyrics went like this:

"This little light of mine,I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine."

"Hide it under a bushel? No!I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine."

I was chatting with a friend the other day. We were discussing why it is hard for people to share with others what God has done in their lives or what He is doing now. Why is it we are afraid to let our light shine and show the glory of God and all He can do in our lives? Is it because to explain how He is working we have to talk about our walk through the valley? Are we so proud that we can’t let others know we are struggling with things that most people struggle with? Are we afraid others will think less of us? Why are we so worried about “us”? Could it be our valleys are not only there so we can become better on the other side but also so, we can help others?

It is funny when we find a great new product like the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser we will call the world and say, “Guess what, there is the new product and it is terrific, it got XYZ off my walls, my shower doors, etc!” “ You just have to try it!” We will talk about the great restaurant we went to the other night. “You just have to try it” “The ribs and chicken were so terrific; I have never had such good barbecue!” We will take time to tell just about everyone we know and even people we run into if it works its way into the conversation.

However, how many of us call the world when God shows us something amazing or does something in our lives that only He can do? Do we call and say, “Guess what, it was three days till payday and we weren’t sure what we were going to eat because there wasn’t really enough food till then, but then a friend called and said they had extra food prepared and wanted to know if we wanted some. Isn’t God GOOD!” Then do we call everyone and say, “I haven’t had the money to buy clothes in over two years and I really needed some jeans, and guess what the sister in law of one of my dearest friends sent me three boxes of clothes she was going to get rid of and you’ll never guess, they all fit and there were seven pairs of jeans in there! PRAISE the Lord!” Yes, I know that is quite a run on, but you would expect the person to be excited, wouldn’t you? :)

Now to call and let everyone know how good God is and what He has done, we have to be willing to admit we are facing difficulties, but look at the testimony we now have. There are so many others out there that face so many of the same things we face that need to be encouraged. They need to know the God of the Bible is still in business today and still cares. If we hide it under a bushel, how can the love and light of God shine onto others? Let your testimonies be heard and let His light shine, we could all use it as we walk through the valleys or make it back up onto the mountaintop.

The Struggle

“The bravest battle that ever was fought; Shall I tell you where and when? On the maps of the world you will find it not; It was fought by the mothers of men” Joaquin Miller

Lately I have been struggling to find the balance in being a Christian mother in today's world. There is the view of what constitutes "success" by a secular world view and then there is "success" by a more Christian world view. I say a more Christian world view because I think many times as Christians we try to add some spirituality to the secular world view and call it a successful Christian view. I have struggled with, at what point is this type of view successful? How does a Christian parent balance these views? How do we balance a world view that prides "success" in academics and extra curricular activities above the spiritual view with a view where God should be the focus and we should be raising our kids with a more eternal perspective? After much struggle, thought, and prayer it has come to me that maybe we aren't to find a balance. Maybe that is where in lies the problem. If we are trying to balance what God has called us to with what the world is calling us to, then aren't we putting God and the world at the same level?

As parents we often try to give our kids more than we had or give them opportunities to do more than we did. We compare our kids' successes with other kids and other families. As Christian parents we often fall into the same trap. In reality the gauge of whether we are successful as a parent is our child's relationship with God and with those around them. Are we raising children to have a more eternal perspective or one that focuses only on their life here? Are we raising children to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God?

Where does God fit in our families' lives? Is he someone we mention on Sundays as we spend a few hours at a church or is He a part of our family and someone that we spend time with daily?

As a homeschooling parent I have spent the last year trying to come to terms with how finding this balance should play into my children's education. My husband and I are both strong on raising our children to do well academically and I think that this is a good thing. But I have also realized that all the academics in the world will not necessarily help my child develop a deep and abiding love for God. At the same time they need to be strong academically to be able to have opportunities where they can reach out to others and be able to be who God has called them to be. As a parent I shouldn't limit their potential. I think this is where most Christian parents struggle.

I have come to a place where I think God has shown me that my struggle in finding a balance is not one I can win. I have to put God first and in doing so make that the focus of how I raise my children. Success from God's perspective is raising my children to have a strong relationship with their heavenly Father and for my kids to love their neighbors as themselves and to discover what God's purposes for their lives are. The academics should enhance that or supplement it if you will. They need to do their best work in their academics as God's calls us all to do our best at what we do.

I guess in all I have found that for a Christian parent you can't achieve a real balance if God is the focus of your family's life. This is one time when we either are in accordance with His will or we are in accordance with the wishes of the world. This is not an easy concept to deal with all the time. Sometimes it is hard to look at things from an eternal perspective when we deal with life from and earthly perspective. It is hard to go against the grain of the world or to swim against the current of public opinion.

Look at the time your family spends each week. How much time is your family involved in activities that grow you and your children spiritually? There are 168 hours in a week. For most families only about 2 of these hours, usually on Sunday, are spent spiritually growing their kids and most the time this is done by others at church. It is no wonder that Christian families are struggling with many of the same issues non-Christian families struggle with. Not that we are immune to problems, but many times we don't work at strengthening our families through a strong relationship with God. We have to make a decision. Are we going to put God first or are we going to be "spiritual driftwood" that floats along in the river of secular public opinion - too afraid to make a stand or are we going to be like the mighty oak that holds firm to its roots and its foundation and has the river go around it?

As Christian parents we need to once again have a heart like Joshua and proclaim,
"...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

I'll Pray For You...

How many times have we heard this or even said these exact words? At face value they sound wonderful and something that is the foundation of something wonderful. I wonder how many times this is just a statement and not a catalyst for real action though. While I am not saying praying for someone is wrong I am beginning to think that often that isn’t enough action. Telling someone we will pray for them generally doesn’t require much of us. Just a few minutes during our day or evening, for a week, or weeks as long as we remember who it is and what we were praying about and then we are finished.

However, what if we took it a step further, what if we were actually committed to helping others beyond just “praying for them”. No, often we cannot solve other’s problems and many times we shouldn’t, but what if we could be a help in them lightening their burden(s). If you have friends going through troubled times, regardless of what they are, you can offer to keep their kids for a few hours once a week so they can have some time to get caught up or work on things they need to work on without interruptions. You could cook them a meal and bring it just because. Write them a note telling them you are thinking of them and letting them know you are continuing to pray for them.

Many times just doing small things for people, especially when they are going through a valley can mean so much and help give them a needed boost to keep going. Keep praying, but don’t let that be the total sum of what you do. It is in our actions that others see Christ in us and since for many of us, prayer is a private matter we don’t give others the opportunity to see Christ’s love for them through us. One more thought, don’t just do for others that you know. Sometimes the most wonderful kindness is one that comes from a stranger. If you hear of someone going through a rough time, do something to send a little light his or her way. You can do it anonymously or get to know them.

Sometimes we never know why we are where we are when we are there. When Esther questioned her position and her ability to change things, in Esther 4:14 Mordecai told her, “Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Who knows what difference we can make to someone if we don’t go beyond just praying for them. We may never know but in the end, it does not matter if we know. What is important is when God shows us an opportunity that we don’t cross to the other side of the road assuming someone else will come along and help our neighbor. We may be there, on the same road, for such a time as this.

I have had many prayer requests cross my door this week and it made me remember this writing from a couple of years ago. I think it is the still small voice telling me to keep praying but find ways to show God's love in a more physical sense.

To Whom Much Has Been Given

42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:41-47

It would be amazing to look at the news today and not feel a sense of urgency about so many things. A sense of urgency as well as a sense of stress or anxiety. These are definitely difficult times for many. In the past few months the passage of Acts 2 has been brought to the forefront of my mind many times as I survey the current social and financial landscape that looms before me. I have been struck with the thoughts that though these are difficult times they are the times when God has given His people direction on how to behave, act, and be about His business.

We are not to be a people of fear and anxiety but a people that shows hope, joy, compassion, and the ability to share with others. We are to "... always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."(1 Peter 3:15) How can we give a reason for our hope if we don't have hope or reflect that hope?

If there ever was a time for an Acts 2 church it is now. Not only for those in the church but for those that need to see Christ in action through us. These are the times when we have to give of ourselves and what God has blessed us with. I think often we look at our bank account and what we have and think, I barely have enough for me and my family, I am definitely not one of those to whom much has been given. The reality is every child of God has been given much through the grace of God through the death of Jesus. It is that "much" - our salvation - that we are required to share. To be a light to others and to draw them close to Him.

These are times when we should see that what we "have" is really God's and we are just stewards of it here. We are sharing with others what God has put us in charge of. We need to understand that no matter how small we think what we have is, it is God's and He can do great and mighty things with it. It maybe that the shelter we give someone, the food we share, or the money we give to others is just a step to them becoming children of God.

I have often wondered how we would respond to Jesus if He were among us today. A lowly carpenter that was barefoot and didn't really have a place to stay as he traveled unless it was at the kindness of others. Would we bother? The thing is Jesus won't physically come to your door and ask for a room, but if a family needed a place to stay or food to eat would we be there for them? If all believers felt that what they had was truly a blessing from God and truly belonged to God would we not give it back to Him? When I borrow something from a friend or neighbor I make an effort to make sure they get it back. Why don't I always feel that way about what God has let me borrow?

These are times that were created for the church. Times when we can shine in a world of darkness and help others to see Him through us. These are the times when the wheat stands out from the tares. Being about our Father's business often requires sacrifice but then why should that surprise us? Isn't it through sacrifice that we are even able to be His children? Giving to others is more about sharing what we have been given and acknowleging whom it truly belongs to, giving of ourselves is about acknowledging who we belong to.

The Love of Jesus can be summed up in one word - giving. He gave His life for us. The Acts 2 church could be summed up in one word - giving. They gave thanks, they gave praise, and they gave what they had to anyone in need. Shouldn't the church of today and our actions be summed up the same way?

Caterpillars or Butterflies

The little girl was dressed in an old worn out dress. There were a few tears in it and a few places that look like they had been patched. She was barefoot and her feet were dusty. Despite the dirt and grime, she had a sweet face that seemed oblivious to the rest of her appearance. I watched her from a distance as she glanced in the direction she had come. The dirt road seemed no different than when she had come down it, but I suspected her appearance was different because of the road. She was covered in dust and there were smudges of red southern clay here and there along her face and hands. Her hair was disheveled and you could kind of tell at one time in the near past, braids had been where now was a tangled mass of unruly hair that strained against the tattered ribbons that bounced off her back into the air as she skipped along.

As I watched her I began to take pity on her. Her clothing was second hand and obviously more like third or fourth hand. I wanted to take her home and bathe her and right the tangled mess that seemed to be in mutiny all around her small head. I stood there and watched for a minute. She smiled at me and waved. Everything that was in me wanted to right the messy situation. Why didn’t someone care enough to keep her clean and proper I wanted to ask. She seemed like and adorable child, but who could tell amidst the current state of affairs. As I watched, I saw her stop, crouch down and look at something. I wanted to see what had caught her attention. I moved a little closer, but not wanting to frighten her I stood a little ways away. When I looked again, she was smiling and had something in her hand. I saw what I thought was a caterpillar. She was holding it up and watching it inch along on her hand. She seemed to notice I was watching and headed in my direction. I wasn’t sure what to do. I was afraid that as she skipped toward me the dust would soon be on me and I surely didn’t need to get messed up.

As she came closer she said, “Hi, want to see what I found?” Her voice was a surprise. I had suspected it would sound very country or backwoods but it sounded almost like a song. It was crisp and clear and almost beckoned me to her. I met her part of the way. If I thought she was grimy at a distance, it was nothing compared to being near her now. When she was almost near me, she held out her hand and said, “It’s a caterpillar. Isn’t it lovely?” I looked at the grimy little thing slinking along her arm now. “It is interesting I suppose”, I said in a measured voice wondering how this little girl could find a caterpillar lovely. She said, “one day it will be a butterfly, did you know that?” "Yes, I suppose", was my reply.

I looked at my watch and realized I was going to be late. I needed to get on my way. She looked at me and said, “People are like caterpillars.”
“How do you suppose that is?”, was my reply.
“Well, you are all dressed up and pretty and you look like a butterfly. I am sure I probably look more like this here caterpillar. Kind of dirty and short and definitely not able to fly.”

I started to smile, she look like she had been flying down the dusty road earlier as she skipped forth carefree. She then said, “do you think sometimes, people aren’t really butterflies, but pretend to be so that they can seem like they are above everything?” It must be hard for people to think they are like this caterpillar just inchin’ along and stuck on the ground or stuck to something and not able to see things from a different view.”

It took me back a moment. Her thoughts were so simple, but had so much meaning. I looked at this small girl that I realized must be older than I had thought when I first saw her, but she was still a child. I looked at her shabby appearance and as I thought about what she had said, I realized I wasn’t the butterfly, I was the caterpillar. I had only looked at this child from one view. I had thought I was above her and the dusty, drab, and worn appearance she seemed to project. In reality, before me stood the butterfly. A child that saw what things were from a different view and saw the promise in a little bug no bigger than a long piece of taffy. I began to feel as dirty as the child in front of me appeared to be. I realized the dirt on her was the kind that would wash off with a wade through a stream or with a bucket of water and a wash cloth. I also realized that the dirtiness I felt would only be removed with prayer and a change in heart. She looked at me and said, “where you goin’ all dressed up like that?”

“I was headed to church”,I said. It was at that moment I realized I had already heard a message from God.

"Well, you still goin’ to church?" she asked.

I looked at my watch and realized that if I hurried I could make it before the first song. Then I looked at the girl, the caterpillar, and the dirt road and I realized I had already found God and in the course of a few minutes with a child I had learned more than I had in years. I had learned that becoming a butterfly wasn’t based on age but on transforming from what we think we are or should be to becoming what our creator designed us to be. Even if I looked like a butterfly, I could still be earthbound and never able to see from a different view and from the other point, even if I looked like a dirty caterpillar I could be skipping towards the heavens lifted by the love and joy of God and seeing things from a very different point of view. Even in rags, someone can be beautiful when they can embrace the wonder and love of God. Likewise, even the most well dressed person with all the right social graces can be as lowly as the caterpillar without having true happiness and a real knowledge of God radiate from within. No matter what we appear to be on the outside, if we were truly transformed, nothing can truly hide that transformation once we surrendered to God and no matter what we appear to be on the outside, only God truly knows who are the butterflies and who are the caterpillars.

As I stood there, she must have gotten tired of waiting for an answer, she smiled and said, “well, I have to be goin’.”

I watched her skip away still cradling the caterpillar and with her hair still barely secured in the ribbons bouncing off her back. She headed back up the dirt road and along her feet she seemed to travel on clouds of dust. I stopped and decided I needed to take some time to pray. Pray for forgiveness for a haughty attitude and for missing the beauty in everything God had made, including a little girl who I judged based on appearance. I also thought I needed to thank God, thank Him for a lesson about real transformation and thank Him for the wisdom and beauty of angels that flitted about on clouds of dust.


This came to me as I was reflecting on some things. It is still a work in progress, but I felt compelled to post it anyway. Please forgive the rough draft nature of it.

The Cannoli Tree

My two middle children are red heads. They are very different in personality but they do share one thing. They both have an issue with being able to come up with the right word for things. My son, the older of the two, has a bigger issue with this. There are times I am left trying to figure out what they are trying to say and then there are times when it is obvious what the word they are looking for to use is.

We have a magnolia tree in our backyard. One day Little Red, as our youngest red head is known as, came inside and was all excited. She had found a birds nest in the magnolia tree with eggs in it. She just wanted me to come see what she had found in the "cannoli tree" I asked her to show me which tree and sure enough it was the magnolia tree. Now, I would love for it to be a cannoli tree. Can you imagine being able to pick fresh canollis off a tree?

Now to Big Red, as my son is called. He is the master of confused words. One day we were discussing scientists and their contributions to science. Jake chimed in with, “Einstein was known for his work in Quarantined Physics”. I made sure to let him know it is "Quantum Physics" - not Quarantined Physics.

We have some friends that had told Jake about a sister putting her dance leotard on her brother. As Jake was retelling the story he said that the sister had put her "leonardo on her brother". After much laughter my oldest daughter and I explained it was a leotard. Leonardo was a famous artist or a Ninja Turtle if you want to explain it that way.

Little Red came in the other day after playing with her little sister the three year old. They had been playing in the dirt and were in dire need of a bath. As she stood there with Emma, she said, "This is my minion." I smiled and I knew this was one time when she had the right word and it was the word she intended.

Maybe there is hope for her...

Bible Bee!

I am looking forward to May 1. It is the day we can download our study guide for the first National Bible Bee. The kids and I are getting excited about really getting into studying for this. We have been doing some overviews to get them ready for the study guide, but it will be nice to actually know what we need to get into. This should be a fun summer project for us.

If you haven't heard about the Bible Bee or would like more information on it, I would encourage you to check into it.

The Great Race Rewind

I am always amazed that people today are in such a hurry. People drive at a breakneck pace to pass a car or get ahead of everyone, only to have to stop at a traffic light with all the other “slow” drivers they passed to get where they are going. People are frantically trying to be first and get through things so they can rush to the next thing. I make these statements not as just an observation, but one of the guilty of this ever pressing rush myself. I would like to think the reason I want to get through the grocery line fast, or through the bank line is I have some socially redeeming charitable work to get to that just wont happen unless I get there, but truth be told I am just jumping on the social gerbil wheel trying to keep from getting crushed or being ridiculed by others hurrying to get somewhere.

With the exception of emergency and law enforcement personnel, I am not sure most of us have life threatening emergencies on a daily basis. Once in awhile I know we all have to make a stop at a drug store for some health or beauty item we realized we were out of and just have to have for a social engagement, but really does this happen every day?

Is it self importance that makes us hurry or the feeling we will be left out if we aren’t there first or shortly after? Or is it that we all feel like we are losing so much time we are trying to get it back somewhere only to realize we have to go back to our house for the item we forgot when we rushed out the door? I rarely have an experience that I can say is good if I had to rush or hurry to it. I usually arrive all stressed out, my hair frizzes due to the heat I generated, and if my kids are involved, well that is another story.

I think we have to come to a point in our lives where we realize that we don’t need to hurry to everything. We also have to realize that we are in a hurry because we are often running late due to the fact we didn’t plan or that we started off late to begin. It isn't necessarily the fault of all those in front of us. Time has a way of catching up with us at times and it is later than we realize. What we need to do is slow down, plan our day, and realize that if we want our kids to be less impatient we need to set better examples. I can’t imagine what pace their lives will be at when they are adults if we all don’t start to slow down at least a little bit.

So today, take a deep breath, take off your track shoes, lessen your pressure on the gas pedal and realize you will get there. You have a better chance of making it there more safely and less frazzled if you slow down a little. Next time you head out, start out a little earlier and pace yourself. The Lord willing it will all still be here tomorrow.

Silence from Heaven

I remember when I was a little girl and I would be asleep at night and a particularly bad thunderstorm would wake me up. The rolling thunder and crashing lightening were almost just too much to bear. I remember praying for God to please let it end, please make it quiet down, please keep me and my family safe. I know there were many a storm that from a little girl's perspective seemed to go on for so long. I use to wonder why God didn't make it stop if He knew I was scared? Why did it continue when I was praying so hard?

I still find myself praying during thunderstorms outside at night, but the real storms that get me unsettled now are the real storms in life. Times when it seems I am tossed about and meet thunder in my life. These are the times I pray to God to please let it end, please help me get through this, and please keep my family safe. As a child I use to wonder if God was hearing me. As an adult and further in my walk than I was as a child I know He does, but there seems to be the same silence from heaven. The storm rages on and yet God is silent or should I say appears to be silent.

When the thunderstorms raged when I was younger I learned that if you counted the seconds between the time you saw the lightening and heard the thunder you could estimate how far away the storm was. I used this many a night in between prayers to determine how much longer I had before the storm would pass. It was some what comforting to have a gage of how long it would be. The problem with life's storms is that there is no gage. You can't count the seconds between one event to another to gage how long you will be in the midst of the storm or when it will pass and when the silence from Heaven seems to be deafening, it can really be disconcerting.

In all the storms I dealt with as a child I knew there would eventually be an end it was just getting to that point that I longed for. I feel the same way as an adult. I also know that God is with me regardless of the silence I seem to be "hearing".
I am reminded of Isaiah 54:10:

"Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

I know that though the storm rages around me that the maker of the thunderstorms I experienced as a child is the one that will stay with me now. I may not "hear" Him above the rumbling and flashing all about me, but I know that "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for He is with me." My faith and understanding of His everlasting love for His children will comfort me.

I may not physically be the little girl that hid her head under the covers while the lightening flashed outside, but in God's eyes I am still His child and He will never leave or forsake me. I may not always hear Him, but I have to remember that maybe I shouldn't be trying to hear God from heaven, but from where I am - in the storm. I should try to hear Him from where He is, right beside me, as He walks through it with me.